Hey There, It's Been a While...

Whoa, if dust could gather on the internet, this blog would be so covered in it, I don't know if anyone would be able to find it again. It has been a VERY long time since I've taken the time to write on this thing. For both* of the people who read and follow my blog, I guess I'll just explain myself by saying it's been a very busy past six and a half months. Here's a quick list of some of the major (some life-changing) events that happened while my blog sat here, lonely and neglected:

• I got introduced to a boy.
• We went on some dates.
• I finished the semester and survived my finals, but, all in all, was really way too stressed out by the teaching program for it to be healthy.
• I became the Relief Society President in my ward. My girls were AWESOME.
• EFY started (craziest and most stressful job during the summer-- but I was in some excellent company. No thanks to you, LR) and I continued dating said boy.
• After a couple months, I broke up with Boy.
• I was so sad without him. It wasn't even a whole week before I begged him to take me back.
• He did. :)
• Somewhere around this time we fell in love.
• We got engaged. We were happy!
• I decided to not do the teaching program anymore and switched my major back to English, this time, with an editing minor. I will graduate in either April or June. Hopefully April.
• I went home a couple times during the summer and Ethan (Boy) came too. He got to meet my family. We had fun.
• I met his family over the course of the summer. Such great people!

Now the new semester has begun. Ethan and I are both busy with school and work, but doing great and having a good time together. We can't wait for December 28th to roll around. It's going to be the best day ever! I feel blessed. And so, so, SO HAPPY! I am a lucky girl.

*Thanks, Haley Neiswender and Jordyn Canaday.

The Cruelest Month

T.S. Eliot said that "April is the cruelest month." Well, let me just say, T.S. Eliot was completely wrong. Dead wrong. Did you hear me, Eliot? WRONG. At least by Provo, Utah standards. February is by far the cruelest, cruelest month. In Utah, February means grey skies, dirty snow, freezing cold temperatures, and no more breaks for the rest of a very long semester. And even though February is the shortest month, it seems to drag on and on in a steady stream of slow, painful days. Seriously, the world (aka-my world, aka-Provo) aches in February. I'm sure of it.

March is a two-edged sword because it's long and busy and teases me with periodic days of spring, followed by random days of driving snow. It's unpredictable, but I can always get through it because I know that summer is coming. (Ah, summer! How I LOVE thee!) Anyway, April is rough because I'm usually going crazy with research projects and cramming for finals, but it ends pretty quickly and then I'm off to that most blessed of seasons. Summer. Sigh.

I really wish it was summer (can you tell?). I miss feeling the sun. It's one of the best feelings in the world. I miss picnics. And flying kites. And dance parties. And barbecues. And camping. And swimming. And even the way the EFY office turns upside down during the months of May-August. It's just a good time all around.

But it's not summer. It's February. And I ought not to go around wishing my life away. What Iought to be doing is my 6-8 page rough draft research paper that's due tomorrow. And I oughtto finish A Separate Peace (also due tomorrow). And I ought to get a good start on Ender's Game so that I can work on another project due on Thursday. Goo. I hate February.

COLD

In the past couple of days, Provo weather has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. What was once mildly unpleasant cold is now biting, ear-numbing, skin-cracking frigidity (word?). To add insult to injury, the weather has brought me a different kind of cold. For the past couple of days, my throat has had a slight itchiness to it, but yesterday night my nose started dripping. Today my eyes are burning and my brain feels all fuzzy. Not good. Not good at all. I'm taking Dayquil and decongestant, hoping to get over the sickiness before it can really take hold. I'm praying I can get over this fast because on Friday I'm heading up to the cabin for a fun-filled, worry-free weekend. Somehow my weekend won't be quite so... fun-filled if my nose is running the whole time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that modern medicine will work it's magic... and fast.

Let me end this post with a picture of my blessed weekend destination. It doesn't fully capture the beauty of the surrounding area, but it makes me happy all the same.



Kamas here I come!

Laughing in the face of all my insecurities

I consider myself to be a pretty confident and secure person. I don't get scared very often and I'm generally willing to try things that intimidate me. But every once in a while, some experience or opportunity will catch me off guard and remind me that I'm not really as tough or sure of myself as I think I am; like on my mission when my companion and I caught a flying cockroach in our apartment and I realized I am throat-constricting, gut-tightening scared of them. I couldn't even pretend the roach didn't terrify me. I stood peeking behind a wall, giving instructions, moral support, and pitiful yelps while my poor companion rounded him up all on her onesy. Don't get me wrong, I always knew I thought roaches were disgusting. But seeing the offending demon-creature buzzing around the lights, or an hour later when we had him caught under a glass jar, brought the fear home to me in a direct, inescapable, moment-of-truth kind of way.

My phobias generally take me by surprise. I usually don't have the slightest idea that I am scared or insecure about something until the moment I'm confronted with "the problem". But there are a couple of fears I've always known I had and I've always avoided confronting. Unfamiliar technology is definitely one of them. I know, it's stupid, but new technology + me = fidgety discomfort and a desire to give up. Unfortunately/fortunately, it's a fear that I can't live with anymore. In almost all of my education classes this semester, my professors require their students (including me) to learn and effectively use different forms of media/technology, so I can't hide behind my wall of denial anymore. This blog is actually starting out as an assignment for one of my classes, but I hope that with a little effort on my part I can overcome the fear and blog as a hobby and not as an obligation. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it...

So here's to me, facing my fears and laughing at them (and myself) in the process! I've decided it's going to be awesome.