Laughing in the face of all my insecurities

I consider myself to be a pretty confident and secure person. I don't get scared very often and I'm generally willing to try things that intimidate me. But every once in a while, some experience or opportunity will catch me off guard and remind me that I'm not really as tough or sure of myself as I think I am; like on my mission when my companion and I caught a flying cockroach in our apartment and I realized I am throat-constricting, gut-tightening scared of them. I couldn't even pretend the roach didn't terrify me. I stood peeking behind a wall, giving instructions, moral support, and pitiful yelps while my poor companion rounded him up all on her onesy. Don't get me wrong, I always knew I thought roaches were disgusting. But seeing the offending demon-creature buzzing around the lights, or an hour later when we had him caught under a glass jar, brought the fear home to me in a direct, inescapable, moment-of-truth kind of way.

My phobias generally take me by surprise. I usually don't have the slightest idea that I am scared or insecure about something until the moment I'm confronted with "the problem". But there are a couple of fears I've always known I had and I've always avoided confronting. Unfamiliar technology is definitely one of them. I know, it's stupid, but new technology + me = fidgety discomfort and a desire to give up. Unfortunately/fortunately, it's a fear that I can't live with anymore. In almost all of my education classes this semester, my professors require their students (including me) to learn and effectively use different forms of media/technology, so I can't hide behind my wall of denial anymore. This blog is actually starting out as an assignment for one of my classes, but I hope that with a little effort on my part I can overcome the fear and blog as a hobby and not as an obligation. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it...

So here's to me, facing my fears and laughing at them (and myself) in the process! I've decided it's going to be awesome.